Time stood still. Cancer. The word itself carried a potent emotional weight, which I felt like a presence in room with me. I didn’t know much about different types or stages, but third or fourth stage sounded ominous. Terrible.

We were speechless. My beloved Mother had been well all along till now. Or maybe all these times she wasn’t well… but we didn’t know. She didn’t know. She seemed healthy all this while, going through her busy hectic days in Singapore making a living. Never did we expect her to be checked into Ward 43 Bed 18 of the hospital for the next few months.

The next afternoon, the doctor came in with the results of her test, and the diagnosis.

“Stage four cervical cancer.” My heart sank even before the rest of the diagnosis was out of her mouth. “You have less than six months left to live.”

Neither Mother or I spoke, but inside I was screaming. Six months? Six months! Six months was nothing. It wasn’t enough time. I needed more time, wanted more time! Regrets I didn’t even know I had started to funnel through me in waves. All the things I wanted to do with her but hadn’t, the trips we talked about taking someday, my graduation. All of it came at me like a pile of bricks, stacking up on top of one another, tearing down the possibilities I had seen in the life that I had intended to build. My world seemed suddenly so heavy. Too heavy. We were devastated, lost and I channeled my all of my energy into finding a miracle cure for her.

I started researching non-stop about cervical cancer and chemotheraphy. The concept of cervical cancer was alien to me at that point and I was clueless about it. I found out  that the cervix is a structure that connects the uterus and vagina and learnt that cervical cancer was the second most common female cancer worldwide. Cervical Cancer also takes 1 precious life every 5 days in our very homeland Singapore. Commonly caused by HPV virus (Human Papillomavirus), cervical cancer is normally spread through sexual activity. Though our amazing body can resolve most HPV Virus attacks, the remaining viruses which remains potentially develops into cervical cancer. Cervical Cancer can happen to just about anyone. And the one thing to note about cervical cancer – unlike most cancers, it is NOT HEREDITARY. It may just happen to you or me… and the scariest thing is that it is practically symptomless at its’ early stages WHEN IT CAN BE TREATED.

Before that, I didn’t know much about cancer. Cancer seemed to be so foreign, something that happened only to people you hear of, a friend of a friend of a friend. Now, it chose to knock on my door and one of the most IMPORTANT LESSONS I’ve learned since then is that Prevention is indeed better than Cure.

While my mother was undergoing chemotheraphy, she encouraged me to do the 3 doses of injection which prevents cervical cancer. Did I do it? You bet I did. And of course my regular pap smears screenings is a MUST. In fact, my next screening takes place in two weeks’ time.

So why did I tell you my story? Cervical Cancer is very treatable in its’ early stages. Maybe to you right now, my reader, the idea of cancer is as alien as it was to me a few years ago. Don’t let it take the loss of a loved one to shake you up. Educate yourselves now and do what you can to protect yourself AND your loved ones.

I’ve had a lot of support from family and friends and I’m extremely grateful to them. God took my beloved Mother back to Him on Nov 14, 2007. She fought the battle for more than 10 months, living longer than the doctor’s prediction. During those precious months, we lived life to the fullest, fulfilling all of my mother’s last wishes. But a mother is always a mother, and a mother always fights to protect everyone around her. My Mother ensured that everyone around her was protected and that ignorance was not an excuse.

I Miss You Mother, I Miss Your Laughter and Your Care, I Miss Your Nagging and Your Love, I Miss Your Cooking and Your Smile.. I Miss You..We Miss You…

We all make excuses now, but when our loved ones are gone we realized that we all could have spent a much longer time with them. Don’t let something that can be preventive be obstructive..

So have you protected yourself?

Power Over Cervical Cancer is a campaign that aims to make Singapore the country with the lowest incidence of Cervical Cancer and they need your help to spread the word. Pledge your support for this cause and protect those you care about by telling them about Cervical Cancer. Together, we have POWER Over Cervical Cancer. Click the button below to begin!

[Original Blogpost here]

You can read more about vaccine to prevent Cervical cancer here.

But do not think that vaccination will mean 100% cervical cancer free. You should still go for regular pap smear once you are sexually active. Early detection is a life saver and I couldn’t emphasize it more. Find out more here.

I had worked in KKH previously, 2 weeks in the cancer ward. I have seen how damaging it is to a woman with cervical cancer and the worse thing is that most are discovered quite late. But then, even surgery is not able to save them. Thus I urge all female to consider vaccination and definitely go for pap smear screening once they are sexually active (even young ones). Especially the case that people are starting to have sex younger and some have multiple sexual partners, these put them at an even higher risk of cervical cancer.

So remember this, cancer is something you don’t see it. By the time you see it, it will be too late. So best is to prevent it, else search it out and catch it early.

Power Over Cervical Cancer is a campaign that aims to make Singapore the country with the lowest incidence of Cervical Cancer and they need your help to spread the word. Pledge your support for this cause and protect those you care about by telling them about Cervical Cancer. Together, we have POWER Over Cervical Cancer. Click the button below to begin!

Cheers,
MoMo

[Original Blogpost here]

The POCC team was extremely stoked by the massive turnout, having poured in our heartfelt effort in the management of the entire event from scratch, from the securing of the sponsors, goodie bags, artistes, right down to the nitty gritty details of the event planning – all to create awareness against Cervical Cancer.

All dolled up thanks to our kind sponsors Citigems, BYSI, Ladyfinger, Essensuals, Strip, and Muiik, our beautiful POCC ambassadors took to the stage to share their insights on the prevention of cervical cancer, and their own vaccination experiences.

Dawn of www.Monoxious.com

Esther of www.the-miracle-season.blogspot.com

Fidelis of www.theluckiestchick-.blogspot.com

Nadia of www.Nadnut.com

Priscilla of www.Deadpris.com

Cassandra, our emcee for the night.

Mrs. Singapore – Queen of Hope 2010, Ms. Yuan Wen Ling and Mediacorp personality Ms. Apple Hong also graced the event, sharing their personal thoughts and encouraging everyone to spread the word about the prevention of cervical cancer.

Mrs. Singapore Queen of Hope, Yuan Wenling

Ms. Seles Rudge, having being diagnosed with cervical cancer just a few weeks before the event, also shared her personal experience on the recovery process, and how her loved ones around her helped her to stay strong. Her story prompted many of the ladies in the audience to firm up their decision to protect themselves. Check out her blog entry  here.

Here’s a look at some of the responses our POCC campaign has brought about: here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, and here.

Of course, besides the serious message at hand, our audience was treated to a series of pole dancing performances by Acro Polates and a thrilling magic show by JC Sum and Magic Babe Ning. You can read the coverage by City News here .

Don’t forget, protect yourself, and your loved ones too!

Check out the action here:

In 2005, I was diagnosed with Endometriosis. ‘Endometriosis (from endo, “inside”, and metra, “womb“) is a gynecological medical condition in women in which endometrial-like cells appear and flourish in areas outside the uterine cavity, most commonly on the ovaries. The uterine cavity is lined by endometrial cells, which are under the influence of female hormones. These endometrial-like cells in areas outside the uterus (endometriosis) are influenced by hormonal changes and respond in a way that is similar to the cells found inside the uterus. Symptoms often worsen with the menstrual cycle.’- http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Endometriosis .

I was treated after my surgery with induced menopause injections; I was 20 at the time. They found an ovarian cyst the size of 4.5cm on my 3.4 cm ovary, which had ruptured by then. Along with the cyst, they had to remove the adhesions which ‘glued’ my womb to my intestines.

After the surgery, I was told that there was a slim to nothing chance of ever conceiving. You can imagine how ecstatic I was when he told me that I could conceive that morning. We ran my regular blood and urine tests, along with my pap smear.

I told everybody the good news and left on a holiday. One week later, I was sitting across my doctor and he was informing me that I had CIN 1 and CIN 2 and a chronic infection. Cancer is a word everyone hears and shivers even when it is not you who has been diagnosed. I was confused, I had not been sexually active since my last pap smear 8 months ago. Being careless, I had not been menstruating for 7 months and I was so tired of visiting the gynaecologist every time something went wrong- It was bad enough that I had to visit him every 3-6 months since 2005. My carelessness proved its capability to me.

I saw everything around me go black and I wanted to throw up. Instead, I waited for the visit to end and walked to the ladies to cry. When I was done, I told myself, “Seles, you’re a strong woman. YOU can pull through and you MUST,” and I never cried from then.

Some things are easier said than done and this was one of them. I locked my emotions up and when people came to see me, I said everything was fine. My best friend, Deniece, came over one day and said, “You have to be stronger Seles. You ARE so strong, it is unbelievable but strength does not mean not crying.” When she said that, the tears rolled and did not stop for an hour at least.

From that day, I set myself free; I focused on channelling all my positive energy into being happy. I watched movies me laugh and when I felt sad, I wrote as much as I could about it. Writing how I felt made me feel like all the negativity was being transferred from my body, to my journal. This may sound tacky but ‘Desperate circumstances calls for desperate measures,’ and I was swimming in a whirlpool of desperation!

Another friend of mine, Rajesh, mentioned that sometimes, Karma comes in the form of a serious illness and it is the universes way of cleansing your soul. So I reflected on my life and the mistakes that I have made and the people that I have hurt- I have never been so honest to myself in my life.

I took steps such as apologising to the people I had hurt, that were within my reach, and I stopped beating myself up over the cards life had dealt for me. I learnt to make well calculated decisions and made a pact with myself to make the people around me happy because life is short.

The biggest lesson that I took from this experience- Life changes every single second. If you allow the situation you are in to eat you up, then it will. Another lesson I learnt is that time passes and you had best make the most of it because you either live happy or die miserable.

The most valuable lesson I have learnt is that, every experience, no matter how hard, has a positive angle to it. From the confidence that I am gaining from this experience(it is not over yet, I am scheduled for my next operation in September and I probably cannot conceive because of all the work that has been done on my womb), I went straight to one of the biggest organisations and told them that I would like to work for them and I got the job.

There are a few reasons why I am sharing my experience with YOU. I want you to know that every experience makes you stronger or weaker, you decide. Know that life is a bed of roses and nails, it is REAL that is why it is called REALITY. Know that the experiences you face will leave you with new principles that can be applied to any aspect of your life eg work and relationships.

Lastly, know that when you feel alone and you are an island, I am here with you. I do not need to know you but I am praying for you and I care. I am not the only one who cares for you and who is where you are at; there are millions of people around the world suffering and we are better in it together, holding hands, than apart.

I will leave you with an extract from a song that pulls me up when I fall:

When you try your best, but you don’t succeed
When you get what you want, but not what you need
When you feel so tired, but you can’t sleep
Stuck in reverse

And the tears come streaming down your face
When you lose something you can’t replace
When you love someone, but it goes to waste
Could it be worse?

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

–Fix you by coldplay

Cervical Cancer — we have the power to prevent it!

The word “cancer” scares me. a hell lot. my maternal grandma passed away 6 years ago because of cancer in the pancreas. Her health deterioriated very fast, though at one point, she seemed to become better. We tried all sorts of methods, western medicine, TCM, some supersonic bubble bath thingie.

But it didn’t work. After battling for 1+ years, she left us.

And then there was my uncle jason. We did not hear from him for some time, and then one day, we received news that he had cancer in the liver (if I’m not wrong). My mummy and aunt jeannie cried and cried, couldn’t believe it. Because it was already at the last stage, and there wasn’t much that we could do. Of course he went for chemotherapy, stayed at a hospice, etc.

But it didn’t work. Not long after, he couldn’t even recognise us, and then… left us too.

Cancer. I never knew that cervical cancer could be prevented. I’ve heard of it before, but I didn’t think that it will affect me so young now, and I thought of only thinking about it when I’m older. but this is wrong. You should go for your vaccination before you have your first sexual intercourse. It is recommended for women below 25 years old to go for the cervical cancer vaccination. It is of course not foolproof, and women will have to go for regular pap smear every 3 years for a check up from age 25 years onwards. Well, that is after you have had your first sexual intercourse. Virgins do not need to go for pap smear.

$600 is really a small sum to pay. The cost to treat cancer after it has occured is many times that amount. Chemotherapy for certain cancers costs between $1,800 and $2,500 every THREE weeks. And don’t bank all your hopes on Medisave either. The withdrawal limit for Medisave is $1,200 every month.

The saying “Prevention is Better Than Cure” is never better used than now. Go get your HPV vaccinations before it is too late! It is 3 dosage in 6 months.

Power Over Cervical Cancer is a campaign that aims to make Singapore the country with the lowest incidence of Cervical Cancer and they need your help to spread the word. Pledge your support for this cause and protect those you care about by telling them about Cervical Cancer. Together, we have POWER Over Cervical Cancer. Click the button below to begin!

Original Blogpost here

I am uncertain where to start.

This is a story I had been meaning to write about, but never quite had enough within me to share, though the closest around me would have heard about it along the way.

I am not sure why it actually takes quite a lot out of me to be revisiting it, that I procrastinated writing this post for the longest time, and even as I am doing it now, I could feel the nerves tangling themselves up in a bundle. I swear my heart rate is increasing and my breaths are getting shallower, and I know this is what I have been avoiding to experience again, that’s why I very nearly wanted to give up writing this.

It was no big deal. It should be no biggie. But perhaps this episode in my life had had much more implications than just something that had came and went, especially when it had happened at a time when I was pretty lost, ignorant and scared.

I will be the first to admit it, I have a fear for pap smears. BIG, MASSIVE FEAR. I get all worked up and defensive whenever I have to go for my pap smears, and it is an emotional thing for me to do so that I would be on the verge of bursting into tears whenever I have to do one.

It is not painful, it is nothing scary and it has something to do with the psychological fear more than anything else which I have since learnt to deal with these couple of years.

But it has everything to do with my first pap smear. That very first one.

And I know, it is a story that has to be shared, with each and every lady out there.

***

So where do I start, really?

It was in 2003, when I was 22, and I had already started blogging, but somehow this only appeared in fragments of subtlety.

I know no one really believes in the bull about intuition, or grace of God if you don’t share the same faith as me, but I really have no other explanation than this.

It was a day when I woke up and nothing felt right. I started crying for no particular reason, and there was a nagging thought in me which I tried to wave away.

I must be mad, I thought to myself (AHEM, I know some of you already think I am, but still…!), but the tears and uneasiness didn’t stop.

I remember it was one of those time when I MSN-ed (or should I say IRC) quite a bit with Faith, and somehow I was feeling so thoroughly miserable that I decided to speak to her.

I told her I just felt something wasn’t right with me, and I wanted to see a doctor. I told her I have this incredible urge to see a gynaecologist because I am just so freaking scared. I told her I couldn’t stop crying with this nagging feeling. I told her I couldn’t understand why I feel this way especially since I had never done even a basic body check up prior to that day, and I just wanted to get my vijayjay and its neighbours checked. I told her it was my intuition and that I know I sounded pretty crazy to be over-reacting with all the tears.

I MEAN SERIOUSLY, WHERE GOT PEOPLE WAKE UP AND FEEL THIS WAY ONE?!

Instead of assuming I was really out of my mind and close the chat window reassuring me and asking me to brush the thoughts aside, she actually told me if it was upsetting me this much, why not just go for a check up to buy myself some peace of mind?

Er… where to go for check up huh? I asked.

Then, I remembered couple of days before I was having meals at Jurong East central and remembered this clinic for women.

I then did a search and found its number.

I even asked Faith if I should really call, cos I wasn’t working and moolah had meant quite a bit to me. But then again, I didn’t know how it was going to work, so I didn’t know other channels to go through (I mean, I could have gone to a GP right?).

I was feeling a tad shy, and I called to ask if they have a female doctor, which they told me they do, but she would only be at the clinic 2 days of the week.

Since it was a specialist clinic, it would mean appointments were pretty packed and since I was pretty clueless, I just said I wanted to see a gynae.

For what? I was asked. Don’t know, just basic check up. Pregnant? No, am not.

I couldn’t possibly say I woke up crying and wanted a check up cos I scared my female bits give up on me right?!

So anyway, I said I wanted an appointment soonest possible, and a date was given.

After making the appointment, the uneasiness worn off, and I got a tad regretful for over-reacting the way I did. And I half expected that when the day passed, I would end up thinking how silly I was, and cancelled the appointment.

As the day progressed, I was ready to give the appointment a miss, and a call came in from the clinic to tell me that they have a cancellation on that very day. It was very last minute, and they have only one slot, the final slot for the day, at 6pm.

Since it was on the very day itself when I called, I actually jumped on the opportunity to say yes, instead of cancelling.

So off to the clinic I went.

When I got to see Dr Chua, she asked me what was my concern, and I just said I wanted to do a check up, and what would she suggest.

She suggested a pap smear, some blood tests and ultrasound was done to look at my ovaries, which she spotted some cysts.

I was told to open up my legs cos I was just too shy, half giggled my way through. I felt something cold, and as I was making small talk with my gynae asking what the procedure was for and if I really had to do it, and it was over before I knew it.

And that, marked my first pap smear, and perhaps the only one that was the easiest for me. I could still joke and make small talk, you know?!

Cysts were my prime concern and other than that, I was sent home pretty promptly without much stuff to be concerned about.

I didn’t have any sort of pain, didn’t have any funky discharge nor abnormal bleeding, nor did I offer any boarding space for things like cauliflowers and mushrooms.

So off I went, feeling pretty alright, and a slight pinch from the bill, booboo-ing my earlier outburst, crediting it to a bout of PMS, and everything was left long forgotten.

***

A call came in one afternoon a few days later.

The clinic. I almost forgot why they would call me.

There was a slight urgency in the caller’s voice when she identified herself, and she had called to ask if I had recently did my check up with Dr Chua.

My pap smear had turned out abnormal and I was told to return for another check up to make sure the report was accurate.

This is where my memory starts to get a little fuzzy, cos it was perhaps the point in time I tried to bury the whole episode.

I was not nervous, cos I simply didn’t understand what an abnormal pap smear meant, but thought I could speak to my gynae to ask what it was all about.

I got to speak to her, and she tried to assure me it was just further tests to eliminate possibilities, and then arranged for me to go for a biopsy (didn’t know what it was either!) with a certain A/Prof Arunachalam Ilancheran at NUH. An appointment was already set for me.

I was pretty uncomfortable with the arrangement, because I had wanted to female gynae all along, but I was told that, for the field it was related to, there was no female gynae she could refer me to.

That got me puzzled, greatly.

Still, I thought nothing of it, so reluctantly agreed.

And then, I relied greatly on the power of internet search to find out what an abnormal pap smear had meant, and what a biopsy is about.

THAT WAS WHEN INTERNET TOLD ME WHAT MY GYNAE DIDN’T WANT TO SAY.

Biopsy is done when there is a suspicion of cancerous cells, and an abnormal pap smear is a major concern.

Still, I tried to keep cool, and that it must have been some kind of mistake (tsk, denial, denial, denial!).

I still wasn’t as worried, as I was more concerned with showing my vijayjay to another male.

The alarm bells rang when I got to NUH, and realised what my gynae had meant when she said he was the ideal person in that field, gynaecology + oncology. Oncology.. wait a minute.. isn’t that.. CANCER?

WTF?!

My gynae was there too for the biopsy.

And I had such mix of emotions that I was confused, afraid, and very much in a daze.

My legs were propped up onto the stirrups, and it was the most unpleasant thing that was told to me, perhaps cos I was feeling so apprehensive and guarded. I was told they needed more sample for further tests, and the biopsy would be done pretty swiftly with little discomfort.

It was when I was told how it was done that I had great discomfort.

A colposcope with a bulb (NOT THE NORMAL LIGHT BULB OKAY, MY VIJAYJAY CANNOT FIT!), magnifier & a camera would be inserted to view the cervix and yes, I watched my you-know-where close up on the monitor next to me. Not. sexy. at. all.

Vinegar was then applied onto the walls, and the abnormal cells would then turn white. He then snipped a part of the tissue (not kleenex, my poor cervix) for sample, which would cause some bleeding, and the discomfort was cleverly masked when he asked me to cough.

Results were out in a couple of days and this time, I think my female gynae called me. Personally.

I was told my condition was actually more severe than they originally thought it was, and they would immediately slot me a date to go for treatment.

If it was mild dysplasia, CIN I, no treatment would be required and it would usually go away on its own.

I was told I had severe dysplasia, and it was CIN III (Severe dysplasia that spans more than 2/3 of the epithelium, and may involve the full thickness. This lesion may sometimes also be referred to as cervical carcinoma in situ) also considered as stage 0 cancer and surgery was needed ASAP as it would very swiftly progressed to Stage 1 cancer if not treated.

The call ended with me in a daze.

HUH?

Cancer?

WHY?!

HOW?!

Bear in mind that I had absolutely NO symptoms except for that weird hunch.

Questions I failed to ask, I got my answers via Friend Google and Friend Yahoo.

I then got acquainted with the term HPV.

I remember calling up asking my gynae why, how and all the questions that came flooding my mind.

Do I have HPV? WHY DO I HAVE HPV? The dilemma, the frustrations, the hurt, and boy, did I even feel a tad of betrayal.

And most of all, shame.

***

Everything defied logic.

And cos it is a STI, who the hell can I even relate it to, except my then boyfriend without being judged? The lack of education on the issue made me incredibly helpless, and pretty much, had no one to turn to.

Even from brochures or even the POCC sites these are the risk factors you should consider:

1) All women who have ever been sexually active

2) First sexual intercourse at young age

3) Multiple sexual partners in their lifetime

4) Smokers

5) Suffered from STDs

I was 1) of course.

But I was a late bloomer, cough.

I wasn’t a slut when I was younger (not that I am now… but that’s subjective you see. HAHAHA. JOKE, OKAY?) and I wasn’t that sexually experienced.

I was with a boyfriend whom I loved dearly, and we see each other 24/7 and I didn’t even hang out with other guys cos he didn’t like it that if HPV was airborne, I was unlikely to catch it either.

I never did smoke prior to that.

No STDs, from my earlier checkup.

So I had to get it from SOMEWHERE, right?

SO. That left me with questions for my gynae, I remember she had asked me not read too much into things.

But I was young, I was ignorant. Then the answer was supposedly clear.

You see, even if you are monogamous, or you only have ONE sexual partner, the sexual history of your partner would play a big part.

Say, your partner, only had one partner prior to you, and you are a virgin, what if the partner before you had 3 partners, and those 3 partners had had 8 partner each, and the number had just grown exponentially.

HPV does not have any symptoms for guys and neither for girls, and since it has not much effect on guys, and many ladies might have caught it which the body immune system would have overcome that.

Back then, I only felt shame, and I did feel a tad bitter that I have something like this, that I plunged badly into depression, and the relationship was dealt quite an enormous blow as well.

I couldn’t get my head around it and I just kept crying, and I was frustrated cos I had no outlet. No support.

***

When the day of the surgery came, I remember I was so fearful that I was in a daze.

That very morning, my then partner brought me to the Science Centre McDee’s for a meal, and got me one of those The Dog cushion. It was because I needed some form of cheering up from all the built up anxiety.

I felt so resentful of the whole process that I was so hostile to the doctors and nurses and just couldn’t find it within me to go through with it.

I shall shamefully admit that I even had wanted to kick the doctor away cos I didn’t want him near me.

I was trembling so much that I actually reached out for the assuring nurse (till today, I can’t thank you enough) and she held my hand throughout.

The process was relatively uncomplicated, it was the same stirrups in the same room I had my biopsy, you don’t even need an operating theatre.

This time, it was excruciating because of the psychological barrier I had.

I was trying so hard not to cry.

Local anaesthesia was administered, and then the horror played out like a movie on the screen as I smelt it happening.

Laser treatment means that the bad cells were burnt off and the sound and smell of it, still deeply etched in my mind for what was an absolutely traumatic experience for me.

When I walked out, I was pale, perhaps cos from the fright, and I actually remember walking from the building to NUH main lobby by this linkway which had these automatic doors, I just had to collapse and sit with my back to the wall to absorb whatever had happened.

In absolute dramatic fashion, I was clutching to the report which stated that I had HPV strain 16 (if I remember correctly) that had caused the lesions.

I was alone (technically I wasn’t cos I had walked out on my own in my state of trance, but still, with no one understanding it, I felt I was all alone). I was scared. I didn’t know what was happening. I didn’t think anyone would understand. So that actually brought on a bout of depression cos of the anxiety, fear, and like I mentioned, shame.

I was told to return back for check up to make sure all cells were removed, and I remember I was so upset that I asked does it mean if all weren’t removed, I would have to go thru it all over again.

I returned, and I was clear.

I was told to return every half a year for a pap smear, compared to the recommended once every 1 – 3 years.

But I know a part of me wasn’t the same anymore, because of the stigma of having HPV, a sexually transmitted infection, and this was 7 years ago before campaigns raised the awareness and gave us more learned information on this.

It is believed that 75% to 90% of those who are sexually active have HPV at some point of their lives.

It could easily be you, and that your immune system couldn’t cope and help you recover.

And because I had no one to turn to, or to get support from, not even my family knows about this, I was reluctant to return for my pap smears.

It was only until last year, in year 2009, 6 years after my surgery, that I had returned to do a pap smear. Only because I had wanted to get an insurance policy for Minibean.

It was not an easy task for me, for all the emotional turmoil and attachment I had associated pap smear with, and thankfully for all the great, great friends I had (whom I had to SMS throughout the entire process so they could cheer me on), whom I had opened up to and did not judge me for it, I got through it despite being so afraid of it.

It was 6 years too late, I know, but I am glad I finally got through with it, and it didn’t feel half as bad, it wasn’t even painful.

This year, I had returned to do my pap smear with polyclinic and am set to make it a yearly affair. Though the reception I had the polyclinic was a little different, cos of the history of CIN III, a doctor had to do the procedure and I was told to return within half a year.

I was so relieved and happy when the pap smear results turned out normal. But most importantly, with the recent Power Over Cervical Cancer campaigns, it has helped me to overcome my initial fear and liberate the emotional burden I had, and pushed me to be more conscientious with protecting myself, cos seriously, 6 years for my pap smear when I am high at risk? That’s stupidity for you.

***

Here are some important facts that I hope to share with ladies out there, and if you belong to the gender with hanging bits between your groins, it is crucial for you to take note and share it with people you care dearly for.

• In Singapore, cervical cancer takes the life of one woman every 5 days.
• About 200 new cases are diagnosed every year, with 100 of them not surviving it.
• Cervical cancer is when the cells in the cervix change or grow abnormally, thus the need for pap smear to detect the abnormality.
• Almost all cervical cancer is caused by HPV a virus which is very common, but not as commonly understood or heard.
• It could take decades to develop and you need not have cancer in the family history to develop it.
• Early stages of cervical cancer have no symptoms, and only a pap smear can detect it like it did for me.

It is evident why this is a cause I strongly support and believe in, because that ONE pap smear, saved my life, and I really would hate to see people around me have to go through with what I had went thru, or are not lucky enough to detect it as early as I did.

That’s why when the campaign had started couple of months back, I was quick to pledge my support for the cause.

With the recent campaigns, more ladies know how to protect themselves from this with regular pap smears, but there would be some who would think they do not have any need to do so because they are low at risk, but I hope my example would make you think twice, and get your pap smear done soon.

LIKE NOW! Go make your appointment ASAP. You need kaki, I can go give you moral support!

***

And if your pap smear is clear, prevention can reduce the risk of cervical cancer greatly too.

And if you are NOT sexually active, the vaccination is perfect for you cos it is aimed at those who are NOT YET sexually active (9 – 26 years old) before HPV could even sneak up on you. It may even be a good idea to vaccinate your child against HPV.

I am all for the vaccination despite already had previous history of HPV.

In fact, though I know that the vaccination would not prevent me against the strain of HPV I already had (which you might not even know you have), I made the decision to go for the vaccination as it could still help me prevent against other strains of cancer-causing HPV strains, and I might still benefit from it.

Thanks to Nadnut’s invitation, I had my vaccination done on last Saturday at Dr Leslie Tay (OMG, he is the man behindieatishootipost! -fangirl mode on-)’s clinic.

I have to admit that I had put it off for the longest time as the cost was of issue to me and I wasn’t sure if the jab was gonna make much difference, but with the special offer and Dr Tay’s responses to my queries, I decided to go ahead.

Thus, I would like to encourage those who have had past experiences with CIN, to also consider going for the jab to protect yourself from other strains of HPV.

The jab was done at Dr Leslie Tay’s Karri Family Clinic at Tampines, and I was pretty surprised to see some fellow bloggers whom I have not seen in a long, long while there as well.

I was incredibly late (not an Easterner, lost my way and crashed lightly into the cashcard machine cos I was in too much a daze) and was the last one to have my jab.

It was over in a flash, less than a second, and I think I would have been out of the room less than 10 seconds if not of the camwhoring!

Here’s how it went:

He said if I could go through child birth (luckily detected early right, or else how such bundle of brilliance could come out of my you-know-where?!), this should be nothing.

I was sulking not because from the needle, but because I was just too sick from the long journey! The jab was painless! Only thing was, my plaster was placed on my blood mole mistaken for the jab hole… 

And I got free stickers from the quite cute Dr Tay which I brought home for Minibean (okay, yes, they are disney princesses.. uhm.. hmm..).

We will be back in a month’s time for the 2nd dosage, and then in another 6 months for the booster.

If anyone of you are interested in getting your vaccination, do let me know and let’s see we can get a bulk discount, alright?

Suddenly getting all these off the chest is such liberation. Truthfully, even I, who had went thru a close shave with cervical cancer have so much to learn still. And if you think it couldn’t happen to you, neither did I think it could happen to me.

But, my first pap smear (and that strange intuition) did save my life. I was 22. Way below the average age of women diagnosed with cervical cancer (which is 40s). I did not appear to be in the high risk group. It hit me when I least expected it.

Well, the only certainty in life, is uncertainty, isn’t it? It boils down to how prepared you are for uncertainty.

Wah super long post, and bear in mind my cornea is scratched and I have double vision and tearing while writing this post which wasn’t as emotionally draining as I had anticipated it to be.

Well. If this could help even ONE of you, or convince ONE of you to take charge of this uncertainty, it will be all worthwhile.

***

Power Over Cervical Cancer is a campaign that aims to make Singapore the country with the lowest incidence of Cervical Cancer and they need your help to spread the word. Pledge your support for this cause and protect those you care about by telling them about Cervical Cancer. Together, we have POWER Over Cervical Cancer. Click the button below to begin!

[Orginal Blogpost here]

In the last couple of months, the words “death” and “cancer” keeps appearing. It’s not only written but during conversations. First the passing of a dear friend, an unfortunate  report (which I’m not going to elaborate on), the departure of my BFF’s friend’s sister, a traffic accident… it suddenly occurred to me that life is truly unpredictable. Well, not exactly “suddenly” per se, but it wasn’t something I consciously took note off.

All this misfortune kinda brings back sad memories…

The first time I felt I lost someone close happened 10 years ago. A girl friend of mine (we were pretty close) scored really well for her examinations and her parents bought her a new ride. We were all envious of her. Sadly, before she could even take us for a spin, that very night while driving to a party, she met in an accident. We lost her that day. It was devastating. The worst part of all… (she’s not local by the way) I couldn’t even say goodbye.

I can’t be sure if it was this incident that  me, but for the longest time ever, I somewhat distant myself. I wasn’t really able to get close to another person (I barely had any girl friends then). I kinda hop from one social circle to another, from time to time.

Anyway. Point being, be it an accident, an illness, and/or whatsoever, we should always be prepared. If a prevention is available and it could save your life, why not take it? You only have one life, there’s no replays. It’s not like a computer game, you can’t reset and start over. Life just doesn’t work that way.

Out of the many cancers out there, cervical cancer happens to be one that can actually be prevented. In case you didn’t already know, cervical cancer is the 6th most  cancer among  in Singapore. It is said that 1 woman dies every 5 days from it and an estimation of 80 percent of women will come in contact with the virus. The moment you are sexually active, you are at risk getting the virus, regardless. For this case, the use of condoms will not reduce the risk. The only means of prevention is the vaccine which is available in Singapore and cost between SGD300 to SGD500 for the full course of injections.

And I have been vaccinated!!!

Ever since the POCC Blogger Engagement Event I attended a month back, I’ve been thinking about getting a Cervical Cancer vaccination but never really got down to do it.

Thanks to Nuffnang, POCC and Karri Family Clinic, I’ve finally gotten the jab.

The whole  basically took about 10 minutes, including the waiting time. The jab itself took a couple of . I’m pretty immune to injunctions, so it really didn’t hurt at all. I’m guessing, if it’s someone less tolerant to pain… it probably hurts a little more than a flu jab but not that much.

It only takes a couple of seconds (three times over) and you will have a lifetime free from cervical cancer.

So ladies, protect yourself against Cervical Cancer. PLEDGE to show your support and spread the message to all the women you care about by  on the button below.

What’s more? There’s always more…

In line with the campaign, POCC organised its very own bazaar to let you, your friends as well as your family, enjoy some bonding time and do some shopping. In addition to that, POCC also held Singapore’s BIGGEST Pink Party against Cervical Cancer!

Both events was held at Zouk on July 24th. A total of 1,000 goodie bags were given out. In each goodie bag is also an exclusive, limited edition specially designed POCC Wristlet by International Brand, Muiik (www.muiik.com).

Protect Your Loved Ones & Be Rewarded!

In addition, 3,000 spa vouchers by Subtle Senses worth SGD160 each will be given away to the first 3,000 people who pledge their support for the cause and join them as Facebook fan!

Above all, please remember the most important thing which is, Cervical Cancer can kill. Protect yourself and women you care for! Find out more atwww.pocc.sg!

The Power Over Cervical Cancer (POCC) campaign is a movement to keep us, women, aware that we have the power to prevent ourselves from Cervical Cancer.

Here are more photos taken during the POCC Blogger Engagement Event!

Estee and me! (I haven’t seen Estee for AGES!)

And yes, I went with Estee! But of course…

Priss was there too! (She’s my BFF! I don’t know what I’ll do without here >.

A group photo with the girls (some of them at least). I didn’t know Esther had a sister (she’s the one all the way on the left side)! Lolx.

[Original Blogpost here]

I met Wen Ning and her mom May (a cervical cancer survivor) at the previous POCC event and they’re truly 2 very wonderful women. People cried when they shared their story!

Do read my BFF’s well-written show blog here for all about the interview on 938LIVE’s The Living Room. Local thespian and fellow POCC celebrity ambassador Karen Tan’s husband was also interviewed on air for his medical insights, as he’s a oncologist and expert in his field.

To raise funds and increase awareness, POCC is having a smashing event this coming Saturday. POCC’s Celebrate Life! Bazaar & Pink Party happens this 24 July @ 12noon – 6pm (Bazaar) & 8.30pm – 10.30pm (Pink Party) at ZOUK   Admission is FREE. You just need to register online here.

I was requested to make a contribution and POCC has approached other celebrities. I couldn’t think of anything “pre-loved” to contribute as they asked, so instead, I made stuff.

You remember my golden dragon & his egg… besides my handcrafted magical wizard’s wand Well, they need a new home.

They were made with love and they also took me days to create, but I’m contributing it all to POCC for them to raise funds. All proceeds go to the charity and when you support them, you’re really championing a good cause!

Here’s a couple of mobile phone snap snots of the lot nicely packed in a pretty wicker basket… And later with a clear bag over it, awaiting for pick-up/ transportation at our magic studio.

A slightly better close-up of the stuff I made (sorry, again snapped using my iPhone)…

“See you this Saturday! We need a new home!” ~ The Dragon, The Golden Egg & The Magical Wizard Wand

Please visit the new POCC.SG website today if you haven’t already – there’s so much informative details and it’s wonderful how other  Singaporean women have jumped on to the bandwagon as well, in helping raise awareness.

See you at the POCC Bazaar & Pink Party this Saturday! 

Then, I had no idea, and had to go through a laser treatment process, which helped me get rid of the cancer, and was also on medication for a couple of years. It was very hard for me then as I didnt have many friends just couple family members, whom to say the least didn’t know much about Cervical Cancer. Had I had not pursued that funny tingling feeling, and questioned the doctor about the unusual discharge, and followed what my body wanted me to do at that time. I would have been gone by now.  Lucky mine was only in the early stages of displayxia (cancer). so the surgeons could have it lasered out.

So, yes,a serious advice to those girls past puberty and women who are sexually active.. please do an annual pap test, its nothing scary, nothing as scary as a doctor telling you that if you had gone and done your pap test annually, you would have detected your condition earlier and save yourself. Please listen to your body and seek advice if you feel that something is not right!

Its strange how people (like me, for instance) are equipped with knowledge from textbooks and info easily accessible from the web, but they do not manage their health as much as they preach to family and friends. A little fear set in, and as I waited for the appointment date to arrive, I talked to close friends about ”What If I am diagnosed with cervical cancer?”. The anxiety level was worse than sitting for your school examinations.

Finally, the “big day” arrived. The doctor took a few samples and told me the results would be mailed to me soon. ”If you hear from us, its bad news. If you don’t, its good,” he told me. So I went home and waited. Then one day, about a week after, I got a letter from KKH. The results turned out fine, satisfactory smear, nil malignancy. Phew! What a Relief!

I know of friends who have not gone for any PAP smear because they do not see cervical cancer as much of a danger than your other average cancer/illnesses. I have urged some of my very close girlfriends to go for their PAP smear, after my close shave encounter. And because there is hardly any symptom, and the HPV can stay in you for a long time, it is important we do our checks regularly. I guess most women probably think it will strike only when they are old.

Hope my story helps.