“If you are going to have sexual intercourse, please use a condom,” said my gynaecologist after removing my IUD, July 2010. To anyone else, that sentence may be rude and insulting but that was my doctor’s way of letting me know that I could conceive.

In 2005, I was diagnosed with Endometriosis. ‘Endometriosis (from endo, “inside”, and metra, “womb“) is a gynecological medical condition in women in which endometrial-like cells appear and flourish in areas outside the uterine cavity, most commonly on the ovaries. The uterine cavity is lined by endometrial cells, which are under the influence of female hormones. These endometrial-like cells in areas outside the uterus (endometriosis) are influenced by hormonal changes and respond in a way that is similar to the cells found inside the uterus. Symptoms often worsen with the menstrual cycle.’- http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Endometriosis .

I was treated after my surgery with induced menopause injections; I was 20 at the time. They found an ovarian cyst the size of 4.5cm on my 3.4 cm ovary, which had ruptured by then. Along with the cyst, they had to remove the adhesions which ‘glued’ my womb to my intestines.

After the surgery, I was told that there was a slim to nothing chance of ever conceiving. You can imagine how ecstatic I was when he told me that I could conceive that morning. We ran my regular blood and urine tests, along with my pap smear.

I told everybody the good news and left on a holiday. One week later, I was sitting across my doctor and he was informing me that I had CIN 1 and CIN 2 and a chronic infection. Cancer is a word everyone hears and shivers even when it is not you who has been diagnosed. I was confused, I had not been sexually active since my last pap smear 8 months ago. Being careless, I had not been menstruating for 7 months and I was so tired of visiting the gynaecologist every time something went wrong- It was bad enough that I had to visit him every 3-6 months since 2005. My carelessness proved its capability to me.

I saw everything around me go black and I wanted to throw up. Instead, I waited for the visit to end and walked to the ladies to cry. When I was done, I told myself, “Seles, you’re a strong woman. YOU can pull through and you MUST,” and I never cried from then.

Some things are easier said than done and this was one of them. I locked my emotions up and when people came to see me, I said everything was fine. My best friend, Deniece, came over one day and said, “You have to be stronger Seles. You ARE so strong, it is unbelievable but strength does not mean not crying.” When she said that, the tears rolled and did not stop for an hour at least.

From that day, I set myself free; I focused on channelling all my positive energy into being happy. I watched movies me laugh and when I felt sad, I wrote as much as I could about it. Writing how I felt made me feel like all the negativity was being transferred from my body, to my journal. This may sound tacky but ‘Desperate circumstances calls for desperate measures,’ and I was swimming in a whirlpool of desperation!

Another friend of mine, Rajesh, mentioned that sometimes, Karma comes in the form of a serious illness and it is the universes way of cleansing your soul. So I reflected on my life and the mistakes that I have made and the people that I have hurt- I have never been so honest to myself in my life.

I took steps such as apologising to the people I had hurt, that were within my reach, and I stopped beating myself up over the cards life had dealt for me. I learnt to make well calculated decisions and made a pact with myself to make the people around me happy because life is short.

The biggest lesson that I took from this experience- Life changes every single second. If you allow the situation you are in to eat you up, then it will. Another lesson I learnt is that time passes and you had best make the most of it because you either live happy or die miserable.

The most valuable lesson I have learnt is that, every experience, no matter how hard, has a positive angle to it. From the confidence that I am gaining from this experience(it is not over yet, I am scheduled for my next operation in September and I probably cannot conceive because of all the work that has been done on my womb), I went straight to one of the biggest organisations and told them that I would like to work for them and I got the job.

There are a few reasons why I am sharing my experience with YOU. I want you to know that every experience makes you stronger or weaker, you decide. Know that life is a bed of roses and nails, it is REAL that is why it is called REALITY. Know that the experiences you face will leave you with new principles that can be applied to any aspect of your life eg work and relationships.

Lastly, know that when you feel alone and you are an island, I am here with you. I do not need to know you but I am praying for you and I care. I am not the only one who cares for you and who is where you are at; there are millions of people around the world suffering and we are better in it together, holding hands, than apart.

I will leave you with an extract from a song that pulls me up when I fall:

When you try your best, but you don’t succeed
When you get what you want, but not what you need
When you feel so tired, but you can’t sleep
Stuck in reverse

And the tears come streaming down your face
When you lose something you can’t replace
When you love someone, but it goes to waste
Could it be worse?

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

–Fix you by coldplay